25 Random Things

Hi, Mama here. As my big boy mentioned, I'm taking over this blog for a while -- at least until the newest babyhill can start blogging! I'll use this as a place to chat about being pregnant with #2, like I originally used this blog before my hilltot was born.

Several of my friends have asked me what it's like to be pregnant, and especially, what's it's like to be pregnant a second time. There's a popular trend going through Facebook right now where people write 25 random things about themselves to share with friends, so I thought I'd copy that format. So here are my "25 Random Things About Being Pregnant":

1. My stomach has popped out a LOT earlier this time around. But it's just the chubby belly, not the round baby belly yet. I simply don't have the abdominal muscles to hold it in as well!
   
2. It was easier to suffer through the first trimester sickness when I was working full-time, because at work I could at least step outside for a breath of fresh air, take a walk, put my head down on my desk, or even sneak to my car to take a quick nap in the backseat. While taking care of hilltot, I get no breaks -- so when I feel nauseous or exhausted, I have no choice but to keep going.
3. Meat makes me nauseous when I'm pregnant. Except for that rack of BBQ pork ribs that I was craving last week. That was good.
4. My cravings this time around have been copious (noodle soup, Käsespätzle, cupcakes, sushi, macaroni and cheese, grapefruit, 7-layer dip, the afore-mentioned BBQ pork ribs...). I had ice cream and pickles as a snack last night. I'm almost embarrassed at how cliche that is, but it's really what sounded good to me. And I'm not craving the same things that I craved last time -- I couldn't get enough avocado or milk with hilltot, and this time I'm kind of indifferent to them.
5. We didn't find out the gender with hilltot and we're not planning to find out the gender of babyhill either. We like the surprise. And this time around, we already have a bunch of gender-neutral newborn clothes and gear, so we're ready.
6. I loved being 15-34 weeks pregnant. Before that, I felt like crap. After that, I felt like I was going to burst. But in the middle, it was wonderful! I felt totally comfortable in my body, even though my body was doing crazy things that I couldn't control (perhaps the fact that I had no control allowed me to let go and just hang on for the ride). I hope I like it as much this time around.
   
7. I enjoy the camaraderie I feel with other women when I'm visibly pregnant. Instead of the slight undercurrent of competitiveness that often accompanies interactions, other women (especially strangers) smile, are open and friendly, and are helpful. I wish it were always like that.
8. I don't enjoy the breakdown of personal boundaries when I'm visibly pregnant. Just because I have no control over my belly doesn't mean that I've lost control over who touches it! It's still my body, and I think it's so strange how people feel free to rub my belly without asking. Last time, I spent the majority of my later pregnancy with my arms crossed over my belly to ward off unwelcome touches.
9. I like hearing about friends' experiences with pregnancy and motherhood, but I don't like being lectured or judged about what I'm choosing to do. Especially from people who have either never had a baby themselves, or who haven't had a baby in the last 5-10 years. It's great that you were able to smoke and drink martinis while pregnant and your baby turned out just fine, but I'm not gonna do it. And as anyone who knows me well can attest, I do not listen to hype and I don't do things without first finding out everything I can about them. So if I'm choosing not to eat a certain thing or to do a certain activity, it's not because I'm over-protective -- it's because I know something (either about pregnancy in general or about my pregnancy specifically) that you probably don't know.
   
10. I don't treat pregnancy or motherhood as a sanctified state of being. I like to make jokes about it and I sometimes offend the more halo-wearing mothers. But rest assured, I don't really give hilltot beer to make him sleep, bite him back when he bites me, or use duct tape to hold him in place. The duct tape would never work anyway.
11. I did not enjoy having gestational diabetes (GD) the first time, and I am dreading getting it again this time. Even more, I am terrified that I will be one of the women who ends up getting Type 2 diabetes within 5 years of having GD. I don't mind the blood monitoring or insulin shots, but I hated the diet. If I get it again (or for good) I will have to find more resources on diabetic menus for Asians.
    
12. This point of my pregnancy is the most difficult because I don't have any ultrasounds scheduled and I can't feel the baby move yet. To help me get through the weeks, I rent a fetal doppler and listen to the heartbeat once a week.
13. Being 36 and pregnant makes me nervous. I know I'm just over the "advanced maternal age" line and my body has already done this once so it shouldn't be too surprised about what's happening, but I'm still nervous.
14. The complications of my last pregnancy also make me nervous. In addition to the GD, I also started having contractions at 31 weeks and was put on modified bed rest until I reached 36 weeks. My OB's goal was for me to reach 38 weeks but she didn't think I'd make it, and she was right (I made it to 36 weeks 5 days). We ended up with an emergency c-section because hilltot's heart rate kept falling, and when he was born it took several minutes of infant CPR before he started responding (for those of you familiar with the scale, his APGAR was a 3).
15. In spite of my anxiety about a healthy labor and delivery, I am SO happy that my OB is supportive of a VBAC for me. She said that since the problem last time had nothing to do with me (I reached full dilation and was able to push), I'm a great candidate for a successful VBAC. I fully intend to attempt it, but I am not opposed to another c-section if that is determined to be the best thing for my baby. All I want is a healthy baby at the end of it.
16. Speaking of c-sections, I was completely unprepared to have an emergency c-section and it was the most devastating part of labor and delivery for me. It took me a long time to recover from it emotionally (and of course, the physical recovery was no walk in the park). I am hopefully more prepared this time. And my advice to new mommas-to-be: read the c-section part of your pregnancy books too, even if you don't plan to have one.
    
17. I'm a little overwhelmed at the thought of having a newborn and a 21-month old at the same time. I wish I had friends who were going through the same thing at the same time (Holly, Deborah...?) so I'd have someone with whom to compare notes. But at the same time, I know that it will be fine and it will eventually come as naturally to me as being a mom of one.
18. Cowboy gets protective of me when I'm pregnant. This time around, it's out of control -- I think he must be even more protective because I have hilltot with me. I can't take him for walks anymore or let him run around outside while hilltot and I play because he won't let any other dogs or people come near us. He lunges, snarls, barks, puts his hackles up...he's generally very un-Cowboy-like. Luckily he doesn't do that when Chris is with us, so we can still go on family walks.
19. Last time, I wrote a very detailed birth plan and had my OB sign it. I brought in copies to give to the nurses when I was in labor as well. I'm really glad I did it, even though we ended up doing pretty much everything I said I wanted to avoid. It was good for the nurses and doctors to be clear about my wishes, which is the main reason the doctor (not my regular OB) let me go through all the way through to pushing before he finally ordered a c-section. The most valuable part, however, was that I'd done all the research about each procedure and talked them over with Chris, so when it came time to make split-second decisions in the labor room, we knew exactly what we were dealing with. I think it would have been pretty scary to have to make such quick decisions without a clear understanding of the ramifications.
20. I intend to write a birth plan again this time, but it will be much simpler. Basically, "Do everything in your power to support me in having a successful VBAC with minimal intervention. However, do whatever it takes to ensure that the baby is born healthy. Oh, and no pitocin if you can help it."
21. Now that I know what happens to boobs after you stop breastfeeding, I will take a lot more pictures of my impressive (for me) rack this time.
22. Speaking of breastfeeding, I am a huge advocate of it. I did it for a year with my first, and I intend to do it as long as possible with babyhill. However, I am not a breastfeeding nazi -- I know that it can be very hard thing to do (I had no idea it would be so hard -- and painful -- to get the hang of it) and it's a personal decision for each mom. Sometimes it's not possible, or it's simply not the best thing for mom and baby. Sometimes 2 weeks is too long, sometimes 2 years isn't long enough. Whatever -- it's really not my business unless it's my baby and my boobs. I wish other people would be less judgmental about such a personal decision.
23. Last time, I was at Macy's buying some clothes in bigger sizes to get me through the "pudgy but not obviously pregnant yet" phase. The salesperson gave me some great advice. She said, "Honey, the last thing you need right now is bigger clothes. They will just make you feel dumpy and unattractive, because even if they fit over your belly, they'll hang loose around every other part of you. You need to get out of here and go to a maternity store. Maternity clothes are cut to fit you, to accentuate your good parts while giving you good coverage. At this time in your life, you need to feel good about how you look. So get out of here." (OK, maybe I'm paraphrasing a bit but that's essentially what she said.) She was so right. But even so, the first couple times I bought clothes at Motherhood Maternity, I was so embarrassed to be seen with the bag that I stuffed it into my coat and ran out of the mall.
24. People ask if I want a girl this time since I have a boy already. I think I'm in a really great position as far as that goes. I already have a boy and I LOVE being a boy mama. In fact, it's kind of hard to see myself as a girl mama. That said, I think it would be really fun to have a girl too. So for me, either a boy or a girl would be great.
25. Assuming everything goes well, this will be my last pregnancy.